Monday, 7 January 2013

Return to college |

There is something extremely unsatisfying about college. Now, you would think that after 14 years of being in education that I would have gotten used to having an education. But the fact of the matter is, by love of learning has slowly deterred away from the passionate 4 year old school girl I once was. Dont get me wrong, I love writing and I love's just that on a day to basis, the only question running through my head, is 'why am I doing the same thing everyday?'

Lets start at the beginning (for that is a very good place to start). Primary school? Absolutely loved it. Couldn't get enough of it. Back then the most drama would be who would be bridesmaid at the year 4 wedding at lunchtime. Another bonus, some may say, was the fact that my father was my head teacher. Some people would hate this - But nuh uh, not me. "Mr.Daddy", as I would call him, was the constant barrier that stopped me getting into trouble with my teachers; it was great! I also got to hang out with the staff in the staff room, which I loved because I could scoop up the gossip when they had their morning coffee, which I could later relay to my friends in the playground for the small fee of £0.02. (Destined to be a journalist, right?)

Secondary school was my down fall. Actually, scrap that. The first two years were great - no exams, no stress, easy. The only thing that was on my mind was how quickly it would take me to get from my current classroom to the canteen to avoid the queues. And then came year 9. Dreaded year 9, where the government had scraped SATs but in typical style, my school decided it was "best" to make us sit them anyway. Thank you verrrrry much.

If I'm honest, I didn't really have a 'clique' at school, which is why I think it sucked. Don't get me wrong, I joined as many clubs as I could - Jazz band, hand bells, extra French tuition, dance group etc. All of which I dreaded the thought of but loved when I was there, which is the case for most of the things I do these days. Then came year 10 and 11 holding EXAMS firmly in its paws. Back then I didn't stress over exams; well, I reckon I got the gene from both my brothers which meant I showed I wasn't that bothered but deep down,  really cared.

After leaving school I was devastated. I know right? Just as soon as I leave the place, I morn over my loss of it and wish I could go back to the spoon fed lessons and corridors with strict rules about how to walk up and down them.

And now college. After swapping and changing subject about a million times (I am very indecisive, but when I want something- I go for it), I was happy with my subjects and sat my exams. I got my AS results when on holiday in St.Tropez (oooo), and was over the moon, and quite frankly, shocked with my grades. I made the promise to myself that I would try harder once I returned to the dreaded place in September..that promise lasted until my first day back of course.

It's not that I dont try hard, I do; as I said before, if I want something I will pursue it, its in my nature. Its just the day after day routine that grinds my gears. I like change and a mix up...both of which you cannot get when you are studying your A-levels.

So I have decided, that I will try and I will focus up until my exams, and once I go to University, I will experience all the change I like. Oh yes, I will be letting rip and unleashing all the amount of change I have wanted to experience over these 2 years at college..University? I hope you are ready for me.